Today, I was working on my own for most of the day. Only doctor in the office; on the shop floor. Senior contactable, upstairs, if I need them. My colleague is off. It’s just me. The nursing staff are there, ever-present, doing what they do best, putting out fires before they happen. But, I’m the one managing our side of things. The one they’ll go if things go out of control. It’s not the first time I’ve done it. But, I think I prefer it, secretly.
I used to think that working on your own was not the way forward. Working in a nice team, full of friends, jokes, chatter, laughter – that was the goal. But, soon after starting work, I found that wasn’t for me. My mind felt more cluttered with people around. I couldn’t multitask. I couldn’t do my job well as well as make friends. I could do one or the other. Others seemed to thrive in this environment. But I wasn’t thriving. Was I the problem?’
Recently, I was told a beautiful thing – that we need both kinds of people in the world. We need teams and we need individuals. They have different strengths. Can do different things. I suddenly felt more affirmed in what I was feeling. It is okay to prefer working alone. You read about the rise of loneliness, especially in men. You read that people, relationships, connections – that’s the answer. That’s how to be healthy. That’s how to be happy. How to live the longest. But, you don’t hear that working alone is optimal. Nobody wants someone who ‘can work alone’, right?
It’s not that I can’t work in a team. It’s just that the teams so far I get put with. I don’t choose them. Handpick them. Who do I think I am? I’m very junior in my career. But I’m already dreaming of the day I get to cherrypick my own team. Find those that care. Those that really challenge me, improve me, take our team forwards. They have fun, they smile, but they also get the job done. They don’t complain about a couple extra tasks, staying late, they do what they feel is needed, what they feel is right. Because they care. Because they have the same mission. They understand what’s going on. They fight. That’s what I’m looking for. I want to be inspired, constantly, by the people I surround myself by. I want to learn. I want to be taught. I want to be corrected. I feel like I’m chasing my tail trying to collect unlimited knowledge about the world. But, I can’t stop either. It’s fun.
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