I recently came across the concept of ‘Taste’. Having taste, being tasteful, good taste and bad taste. I never thought myself as someone who had much taste. I have always been more functional, efficient and ruthlessly logical. I suppose that was the environment I grew up in.
But as my environment evolves, I’m beginning to think I too am evolving. Into someone who shouldn’t be so functional, so efficient all the time, rushing from place to place. My partner told me I should slow down by about 20%. I agree.
Slowing down has made me notice a lot more. About the world around me, about me. I seem to take more in, be less stressed, my heart rate has fallen. I think more clearly, more deeply. It’s beautiful really. I feel more in touch with myself. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before. It’s like I’m getting to know myself for the first time.
I can’t wait to find out more about this person, about what they like and dislike. I can’t wait to form my own opinions, listening to my own brain rather than everyone else’s rambling thoughts. Sometimes you just wanna shut them up and just be.
I started to realise everything in my life so far is a reflection of my taste. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like my own taste. I wanted it to change. I wanted it to be different. I felt it didn’t reflect me. Who I am, not who I want to be or who I was.
I started to think about people I think of having taste. They know what they like, what they dislike. They have a style. They are selective in what they choose to enter their world. Whether that’s what they put in their mouth or their ears. It’s all intentional. I have never had intention.
I suppose it’s a sense of autonomy. Choice. The more autonomy people have, the more powerful they become. I am in a fortunate position to have autonomy. Not everyone has that. I am very lucky. Autonomy is a gift that I must use wisely.
Gifts are another way of sharing your taste with someone else. They ultimately are trying to draw a common thread between your taste and theirs. The more overlap, the easier the gift giving. The more uncertain the taste, the more difficult it is. Maybe that’s why I’ve usually left unsatisfied with the gifts I’ve received, but quite happy with some of the ones I’ve given. If the taste is clear, it’s an easier experience for everyone.
So, if I can curate my taste over the next phase of my life, I can feel more me. That starts by getting rid of all the things in my life that aren’t to my taste. People, things, clothes, food, books. Being selective about what enters and what gets to stay in my world. Even imagining this makes me feel happy and free.
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